hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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