The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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