oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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