We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
