but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
