She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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