I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
