Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
