but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
