I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
