Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
