I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
