I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
