I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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