**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
