evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
