i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
