I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
