I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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