she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
