is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My first STD was from a foam party
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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