the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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