we're chasing vodka with high fives
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
