I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
handjob tips. give me some.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
