We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
