ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
