in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
