don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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