member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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