It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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