Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
