you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
