he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
