so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So many bounce houses so little time
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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