Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
