you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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