Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am available for nakedness
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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