So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
