She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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