Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
