I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
