Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
