You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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