Rock
Scissors
Fuck
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
