The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
