Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
false alarm, still single
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
