Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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