You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
