this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
