I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your penis caused this!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
