the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
